Patience is a virtue...

As many of you know, I don't have a lot of patience. I try my very hardest to be a patient person, but eventually I reach a point where I just can't hold it in any longer and the impatient me emerges. But during the past year, I truly can say that I have become a more patient person with all that I have dealt with, and it's all because of the Lord. It's hard to believe that a year ago tomorrow (last Friday in July), my life completely did a 180. Had you asked me a year ago when I left for work how my day would go, I would've told you that it's going to be a routine day. Little did I know, that was NOT to be the case. It was one of the most painful days in my life. To have been somewhere for a good majority of your life and be highly praised left and right, and then boom, for no real apparent reason (at least none to me), it's all taken away from you. It's heartbreaking, mindboggling, and even numbing physically. I've never been big on surprises and now I'm really not enthused about the idea of surprises. Losing your job just impacts your life in so many ways -- it makes you question every aspect of your life -- was I not good enough? What did I do wrong? What is going to happen? What's next?; it affects your health and emotions and just basically everything in life changes. I've never experienced such heartbreak and fear! The past year has been a journey...I had no idea where the road might take me, but I just turned it all completely over to God and asked Him for guidance along this long rollercoaster of a ride. Many times, I lacked patience but I just kept praying for that and for Him to provide me a job where He wanted me to be. It's so funny how things worked out for me and my new job and I credit it all to Him. Shortly after I lost my job, I saw a position open that I really wanted to apply for, but I couldn't get all my paperwork completed in time and personally, I don't think I was mentally ready to go back full-time. I'll admit, I was bummed because I really thought that job would be a great fit & from what I had been told, those positions are rarely available for new employees. I kept searching for jobs; applying everywhere I could think of. Fortunately, I was able to work part-time at a couple of places; trying something completely different from what I had ever done. I met some wonderful people at both my part-time employers and really learned that with God's help, I can easily learn new things. Throughout my part-time work, I kept applying for full-time positions. I had my mind completely set on working at two or three select employers, but I always seemed to reach a bump in the road with my applications. It became very, very frustrating and I got to the point where I didn't feel I would ever find a job. But I continued to search and most importantly, I continued to pray. In early/mid-May, I was searching again and I saw this position open that looked vaguely familiar. Ironically, it was the same position that was open last summer, the one I desperately wanted to apply for but couldn't get everything submitted in time. I thought to myself that wow this is crazy, another position is open. I quickly submitted my resume and information and within a few days, I had an interview and a few weeks later, I had a new job! I must say in the last month, my life has changed so much. I can say I am so happy. I've never laughed so much in my entire life. I work with some amazing people and they are quickly becoming my friends! For now, I can actually for once in my life say that I love going to work. I'm so happy that God reeled me in and said "not now"; I'm so grateful He kept those doors, that I thought would be good for me, shut. He knows our way and our purpose in life. He knows where we are best suited and can make a difference. I told my Mom before I started to work at WCPSS, that I was going to work there and even if I didn't make any friends, that would be okay. But thankfully, I have already made some friends -- one of whom is my kindred Southern spirit :) So, whenever you feel things are falling out of control or not going your way, realize that you aren't in control; God is. Have patience and in the end, He will give you what He sees best and sometimes it might be something you didn't expect and it turn out to be so awesome. Yay! So excited and can't wait to see what happens next. I'm so grateful that I'm not where I was a year ago...life has continued to change for the better!

I'll Always Love My Mama

So, there's this beach music song (or some song on a station my Dad listens to constantly), that says "I'll Always Love My Mama" and it goes on to say why, etc. Well, that's so very, very true. I will always love my Mom for many reasons, but most importantly and obviously because she's my Mom!!

Today is a very special day for my Mom, it's her 29th Birthday, yay!!! Of course, she's not 29 because that's how old I am, but it's still her birthday nonetheless. So I wanted to write a brief little blog just to wish her a very special day!

Mom grew up in Harnett County, North Carolina, and she was the ONLY girl of six children (bless her heart!). But she managed on her own. I love hearing her tell stories about her growing up and how she'd always tattle on one of her brothers for doing something to aggravate her. Or how with her youngest brothers, whom she helped to raise, she would dress them in girl clothes and play with them since she always wanted a baby doll (now we know what's wrong with them, just kidding!).



It never fails if we're out "cruisin'" around her old stompin' grounds, we'll go past the one house her family used to gather in to watch "Rawhide" and every time we go by, Mom will say "that's where we used to watch..." and we'll all shout out "RAWHIDE!" She grew up working on the farms and to this day still loves to work outdoors mowing grass or in the flowers or something to keep her busy.

She'll brag about the days when she used to drag race the boys in the neighborhood on her fast Mustang. Yet, when I used to ask her if I could "floor-it" on my Firebird on the way to Grandpa's on a Sunday, she would always say "NO WAY" -- what's the difference? It's funny because Mom had a Mustang (Ford), Dad had a Camaro (Chevy) and I had a Firebird (Pontiac) -- guess we all had sports cars growing up for sure!!

Shortly after, I was born (Lord, help the world!), Mom decided she would stay home and help raise me (seeee....even she knew I would be trouble from Day One!)...but it's a great thing she did. I've always been really close with my Mom and a lot of that comes from the time I spent with her while Dad was working.

Mom's always been very supportive of my crazy endeavors, even when I'll go meet some new celebrity or personality, while she may not really like the person, she still at least pretends to enjoy it long enough for me to tell her about them!

Mom's very protective -- maybe it's because I'm the only one or maybe it's just the mother bear coming out, but if someone crosses her or says something about her child, well, just watch out because there's no telling what she might say.

Mom's hilarious -- she makes me laugh on so many occasions. Sometimes we'll just sit and laugh over nothing. We used to have our own language and make up new words and pretend we were talking Chinese or something. Now, we just go around quoting Madea or hollering "helllllerrrrrrrrrrrrrr" all the time. But either way, Mom's funny ... you never know what she might say or do.

But most importantly, Mom's caring and loving. 2011 was a very, very, very hard year for me (for many reasons!) but through it all, Mom (and Dad, too) have been there for me. I'll never forget the day I lost my job how I drove my car under the carport with tears streaming down my face, heartbroken, but Mom's waiting at the door for me with her arms open and I just collapsed in her arms and bawled. I thank God she's been there for me and been my fighter and supporter. I'm grateful for Dad, too, but sometime's it's just a mother's intuition and love that you need during those rough times. I'll never be able to repay her for being there for me this year, but I hope she knows how much it's meant to me.

I'm so grateful that the Lord allowed me to grow up in such a loving and caring environment with two wonderful parents. Many people aren't so blessed, but I'm grateful each and every day for that gift.

Mom, I hope you have a terrific birthday. Even though it's supposed to be very, very cold outside, you have a warm heart that will make your birthday special. Take time to smell your flowers (they're on the kitchen table in case you missed them, ha!) and just enjoy the day. It's yours ... sit back, relax and kick your feet up.

Thank you for being the best Mom in the whole world. I love you! Happy Birthday and I hope you have many, many more!

One Word -- Maydelle

Today, as I sit and ponder the many things that face us in our present day world, I am reminded that it has been eleven years since I lost someone very, very dear to my heart -- my great aunt, plainly called Maydelle. It's so hard to believe that in February of 2000, I lost my aunt, but also my friend and well, someone with whom I share many similarities. Time heals the pain, but we never forget the memories we share with our loved ones. So I thought with Valentine's Day approaching, I'd share a few memories of my Maydelle.

Maydelle was born Ester Maydelle Sorrell in Wake County, North Carolina, on July 4th, and she was a patriot in many, many ways. Much like myself, she was an avid basketball fan. Matter of fact, she and her sister (my grandmother) both played basketball for Garner Senior High School. Many days, I often wish that I had played sports in school. It would have been an honor to look out in the stands and not only see my parents but also see my grandparents & Maydelle because she wouldn’t have missed it for the world. She was also one of my big “cheerleaders” as she often attended some of my piano recitals when she wasn’t busy taken care of her Mom.





One reason for my love of downtown Raleigh comes from Maydelle. She worked for many years with FCX and often spent countless hours shopping in the downtown stores. As a child, I used to hop in the car on Saturday mornings for “girl’s day out” with my Granny and Maydelle. Our first stop was ALWAYS downtown Raleigh whether it was the “old” Hudson Belk with lunch at the original Capital Room, or whether it was to go to McCrory’s or Woolworth’s…I’d be along for the ride.









Maydelle was also a fashionista. She LOVED wearing black and red (hmmm…now I know where I get that from!). She was always dressed very neatly no matter the occasion. On our Saturday adventures, after hitting up downtown, we would head over to North Hills (when it actually used to be an indoor mall!)…she loved her some JcPenney’s, and she has probably rolled over in her grave thirty times knowing that they’ve torn down the mall – with the exception of JcPenney’s (how ironic!).

Several of my fondest memories come from these shopping trips. One was when I was probably six years old. We were upstairs in the JcPenney’s and Maydelle got on the escalator to go to the basement. Well, many of you who know me know I have issues with going down on escalators (thanks to my lack of depth perception). My Granny followed behind her, but I was left standing upstairs in the store alone! I remember hearing my Granny tell Maydelle something about getting me downstairs. Maydelle, in her utter blunt yet Southern genteelness, replied “well, she can just stand there all day.” I had other plans though … I knew that outside JcPenney’s there was a staircase…so I ran out into the mall, down the stairs, back into Penney’s and found them (I’m not sure they ever figured out how I got downstairs and my poor Mother would have had a heart attack had she known what happened, ha!) I blame Maydelle for my constant need to feel “dressy” and match. I do not like leaving the house until I feel completely put together. But that’s okay, it’s something I gladly inherit from her!

Maydelle was also an entertainer. My Granny, Maydelle and Mama Sorrell (their Mom) were constantly hosting people over at their house, catering parties, you name it, they did it. Maydelle had a heart of a servant and she would do anything for you. She loved to decorate and cook. As a child, I used to play the piano in the living room while they were preparing for a gathering of some sorts. Even as grown-ups, sisters will fight and I witnessed one first hand as Maydelle shoved my Granny to the ground. I ran all the way to get my Granddad. I was so excited to have witnessed such an event. Now, thinking back on it and hearing my Great-Grandmother scolding “Maydelle, you shouldn’t have done that in front of that child”, I laugh. Go, Maydelle!! (Sorry, Granny, I love you, but Maydelle beat you in that match!)

One thing that always fascinated me when I was little was why did we have bags and bags of red cardinals in our smokehouse barn? It always baffled me. Years later, I found out that Maydelle was a member of a group of ladies who used to be in charge of decorating the Governor’s Mansion for Christmas. Therefore, those red cardinals were the decorations on the tree themed after the State of North Carolina. Each time, I go to the Governor's Mansion, I am always reminded of Maydelle decorating those trees and that beautiful mansion. Maydelle loved meeting people. Many of you think I'm crazy for meeting all the people I do (from Katherine Harris to Bev Perdue, from Kim Mulkey to Chris Dailey), but let me tell you one thing, Maydelle would be proud. She would be right there with me, and she would share in my joy and excitement!

If you met Maydelle, you met a very dignified lady with jet black hair and deep, deep brown eyes. To say the least, she could be very well intimidating. She was married late in life and did not have any children. After her husband passed away (1987), she lived with and took care of her Mother until she passed at the age of 99. Fortunately for me, I grew up with Maydelle living in my front yard (no joke). Our family had a big farm in Southern Wake County and my parents built their house there. After Mama Sorrell passed, I spent more time visiting Maydelle as I hated for her to stay all alone in the big farmhouse, but she wasn’t scared. I would help her plant her garden, go on walks with her, and of course, go shopping with her!! When I started middle school, we were allowed to carry soft drinks to school and diet sodas have ALWAYS been my favorite. On grocery shopping days, Maydelle would call me over to her house and I would find a case of diet sodas waiting for me. She always remembered.

Sadly, one evening, Maydelle suffered a massive stroke. I will never forget walking into the kitchen in her house and seeing her slumped on the floor in the kitchen, a place she loved so dearly. The black hair and brown eyes looked back at me, but she couldn’t speak or move. It’s a sight that some days I wish I had not seen and brings tears to my eyes just reliving that memory. The remaining few years of her life were spent in a nursing facility. My Mom and I would go over every day after school to visit with her. She was wheelchair bound but knew how to scoot around using her feet. While she never said too much to us, I knew she knew who we were. She would light up with a smile every time she saw us walking down the hall. Even in her final years, she was still a character…at the nursing facility, she was known for constantly setting off the emergency door alarms, as she always wanted to be on the go and try to get out!

From the year 1996 to 2001, I lost a family member each year and in 2000, I lost two back-to-back, Maydelle & my Granny. All happened while I was a junior in high school. Talk about growing up to be an adult quickly, I surely did. It’s very, very hard to lose a loved one. I’ve lost three grandparents, one great-grandparent and Maydelle, who may as well have been like a grandmother to me. All the funerals were hard on me in some way, shape or form. But for whatever reason, Maydelle’s is the one that I took the hardest.

Thankfully though, I know that one day I shall see her again. I hope in some ways I am able to carry on her legacy and be half the caring, compassionate soul she was. In many ways, she reminded me of Julia Sugarbaker from Designing Women, but I think, even Maydelle, had more of a heart that Julia did.

Maydelle, I surely do miss you … I miss our shopping trips, I miss my cases of diet sodas and most randomly, I miss your rice … she would understand. I love you, Maydelle, thanks for leaving a huge footprint in my life and it makes me smile when people say that I am just like you!

Waving the White Flag ...

Do you ever have those moments where you feel that it's time to just surrender? Or you know you've been caught doing something wrong, so why try to run from it?

Well, I had my "surrender" moment last Sunday while on the way home from the UNC/NC State Women's Basketball match when I saw blue lights in the rearview mirror. Rarely, am I the type of person who is going to give up without a fight or I won't quit working on a project or something until I am satisfied and feel it is complete. Not this time, I knew the cop had me the minute I saw him, so for once, I didn't fight it.

I was travelling down the road, blasting Adele's newest CD "21" and quite honestly, I was zoned out and not even paying attention to what was going on. I knew I was the ONLY person on the highway, and when I glanced ahead, that's when I saw him, my fellow Raleigh Police Department Officer, perched on the median. My initial reaction was to look at my speedometer and sure enough, I was speeding -- but heck, I didn't even know what the posted speed limit was for the road I was on (honestly, I still don't; matter of fact, I've NEVER seen a sign on that road). But anyways, I knew he had me.

Part of me wanted to just pull over beside his car and holler "I'm all yours" and wave my white flag out the window. I kept going, but knew I was busted when he followed me for a mile before stopping me on a different road with lots of traffic (so EVERYONE could see me!) -- bright blue lights & all!!

Long story short, I got a ticket.....BUT from a really, really hot cop!!

Phew, maybe it wasn't a bad thing I got stopped. I was so distracted that I couldn't even cry, talk my way out of it or anything. Not only was he hot, but he was also very, very polite and courteous (much better than the officer in Garner who stopped me three years ago). Thankfully, my RPD officer did not write me up for the full amount. He lessened my charge so that it wouldn't impact my insurance. What a blessing! The funny thing, I THANKED the officer --- HELLO, Meredith, what were you thinking thanking the officer for GIVING you a ticket?? Blame my Mom, she instilled in me the proper Southern manners, which I guess include saying thank you at all times, even when getting a ticket!!

Needless to say, I was not pleased (initially), but later I got a laugh out of it. Dad is blaming it on the fact that I have a NASCAR license plate -- well, they don't call me "Smokey" for nothing (Tony "Smoke" Stewart is my NASCAR plate). But, I know that isn't the case since he didn't see the plate until he got behind me.

In all fairness, I surrendered. I gave up, I didn't fight. Though I wasn't speeding on purpose, I knew I was guilty because I was speeding nonetheless. Contrary to many people's thoughts, this was my FIRST speeding ticket. I'd say that's pretty good to be 29 and just get my first speeding ticket. Particularly good when you grew up driving a sports car your entire life, YET neither ticket I've gotten has come while driving my Firebird; both came while driving my Explorers. Hmmmm...you think that maybe I should go back to driving my Firebird??

But even though I received a ticket, it taught me a lesson that at times, it is okay to surrender. We all will face some sort of test in our life. Those of us, like me, who don't want to quit, have to realize that there comes a point in our lives when some things just aren't as important anymore. We have to be willing to decide what can and cannot be surrendered, and what we give up, while it may hurt, we have to know in the long run, it will be okay. And who knows, maybe one day, you'll get a second chance at it.

So live each day to the fullest, don't stress over the simple things...take a step back and re-group and move on. And if a cop stops you, just admit you did wrong (if you did), don't try to run from them because that only makes matters worse. It's okay to admit you did wrong, it makes you stronger in the long run!

On a side note: wonder if I can submit my ticket to the NC State Athletics Department and ask them to pay my charges for me? Just kidding, I'd never do that to the awesome, Debbie Yow!!

Gotta get my Mulkey on...

So, you may have been seeing me post the saying "gotta get my Mulkey on" quite often lately and more than likely, you're probably thinking just what exactly does that mean? Well, hopefully this post (which is a first in a very, very long time) will clear it up for you!

As many of you know 2011 was NOT a good year for me. I've had my ongoing health issues, I lost my job of 10+ years (unexpectedly) and I've had quite a few other personal battles that have really been trying on me. Trials really do test our faith not only in God, but in your self. At times, I'll admit that I wondered could it get worse (of course), or I wondered how much more can I take, etc. I finally came to the realization that God is not going to put me through anything more than I can bear (He obviously must think I can bear more as I'm not dead yet, ha!)

But it's also during these times where you not only put your complete trust & faith in God, but He also helps bring people into our lives or stories or something that can be an encouragement to us. For my health issues, I always looked at my Grandma Baker and Coach Kay Yow. Both of these ladies battled cancer very courageously and bravely. I look at them and know they endured so much pain, yet they NEVER complained. I realize that while I have some health issues, they are menial compared to them, and if they can fight and battle one of the biggest battles in life, I can build off their strength and withstand my own battles.

These more recent personal battles...it's hard to say who I looked to for strength (aside from God) -- who He helped put in my life to lead me through. And then out of the blue, I found Kim Mulkey's book.

As you all know, I am a HUGE fan of women's college basketball. I'll watch any team and go to any game -- I just LOVE the sport that much. I had known who Kim Mulkey was for many years (saw her coach in Raleigh at an NCAA Super Regional back in 2009) but I'll admit I didn't follow her as closely as I did others. Suddenly, towards the end of 2011, Baylor University popped back up on my radar, and I started following them very, very closely. At some point along the way, I discovered Kim Mulkey had written a book, so I ordered it. Honestly, I'll admit, upon first getting it, I figured it'd be just like any other coach's book -- tips on how to improve in the game of basketball, but I was delightfully surprised.

Kim's book is very open, very honest, very real and most importantly, just Kim. While she does talk about basketball (which she should), she opens up about her personal life and the struggles she's had physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Her book truly spoke to me and made me realize that I'm not alone in my battles. Granted my battles are totally different from Kim's, but you can pull the similarities and grow off of her strength. She dug deep and fought hard to keep going in life and not let anything hold her back. The title of her book is awesome, it's "Won't Back Down", and that is so perfect for her, for me, for anyone. No matter who or what may be hindering us in our life, we shouldn't let anything try to hold us back or keep us from acheiving our goals.

When I initially read Kim's book, I was so encouraged. I was amazed at all she went thru, I wanted to cry for her, I wanted to rejoice with her. Her book truly touched me in so many ways. It made me realize that if Kim Mulkey can keep going with millions of people watching her and she can endure all of what life has thrown her way, I can muster up the courage and keep pressing forward, as well.

I sent Kim an e-mail in late December to just say "thanks" for sharing her heart. I wanted her to know that while to many she is a basketball role model, she is also a role model and encouragement toward others in life's personal matters. I wanted her to know that her book impacted me and that writing her book was well worth it. I didn't anticipate a reply, but guess what, Kim Mulkey wrote me back! She thanked me for my kindness, wished me well in 2012, and told me that while we face a lot of things in life, we just have to find a way to deal with it...and lastly, she invited me to come say hello to her when I was in Texas.

Well, such as luck would have it, I went to Texas to visit my cousin. We went to the Baylor vs. Texas game (Baylor won, by the way!) and after the game, I met Kim Mulkey. She remembered who I was and graciously autographed my book and a hat and took a picture. But what really made the day, was just seeing how down to earth she is. Kim is exactly who she is, as she's said "what you see is what you get". That's exactly her. A little girl from North Carolina gets to stand on the court at the University of Texas talking to an Olympic Gold Medalist, NCAA Champion as a player, assistant coach and head coach, about the differences between Texas, North Carolina and Louisiana ... and yet, she is just Kim Mulkey. She's not some high-minded, busy-body person. She takes time to speak and meet and greet. That truly meant a lot to me. Thanks, Kim, you're the best!!

So why do I say "gotta get my Mulkey on"? Well, on those days or at those moments, when I feel the doom and gloom coming, the tears wanting to fall and wondering can I make it thru this day or next trial, I think back to Kim's book and realize, "if Kim can do it, so can I...buck it up, get your Mulkey on and get thru it."

Thanks, Kim Mulkey, for sharing your heart and being who you are -- being real. And I hope you don't mind that I'm using your name for my personal slogan :)

I encourage everyone to read "Won't Back Down" by Kim Mulkey. I MAY let you borrow mine, but since it's now personalized and autographed, we'll see. But read it and let it be an inspiration to you!