Day Twenty-Four: Write about a lesson you've learned the hard way.

Life is all about learning lessons whether it is a lesson taught to you in school by your teacher or whether it is an actual life lesson that you learn on your own through experiences you have faced.  No matter what, we will all learn some lessons – some will be learned the easy way and others, unfortunately, are learned the hard way.  I know I have learned my lesson countless times over whether it is something simple as “I should’ve just kept my mouth shut” or something a little more complex.  Each time, I have always learned something from it and have tried to grow from the experience.

The purpose of this blog is to discuss one lesson that you have learned the hard way.  To be honest, I’ve been dealt this card too many times over, but the topic I’ve chosen to briefly discuss is probably one that we’ve all faced at some point in our lives – learning who your true friends are.

In a world with a population of over seven billion people, you are going to encounter a variety of individuals in your lifetime.  Some of those people you’ll see only once in passing, others are your family who you are stuck with for a lifetime and then others will become your friends – some for a passing moment and others that will always stick by you.  And sadly, sometimes we learn that those people we once considered to be our true friends, really aren’t your friends to begin with. 

I have learned that some people, who claim they are your friends, in reality weren’t who I thought they were.  Sometimes they merely want you to be there for them for a season – a time when they need you.  And when they are done with you, out with the trash you go.  If it were only that simple, right?  Typically, when you are the victim of a tumultuous friendship, you would preferred to just be tossed to the side, so you can pick up yourself and move along. But oftentimes, you are left with deep scars that leave a lasting impression upon you while the other individual waltzes around acting like they are scotch-free.  I won’t go in to all the details of my lesson that I learned nearly five or six years ago, but I can tell you, when people treat you one way and then decide to start and spread rumors about you that are absolutely false, it is a very, very painful situation.  

If you are in a friendship and you feel you are being used or you feel it is a one-sided friendship, you should immediately start to reconsider your options.  Don’t fall victim to the trap that these individuals so often entrap you in.  Believe me, I was sucked in a web for several years.  I was blinded by the fact that I was being used, that I was really nothing more than a pawn. Also, be aware that your emotions may not be perceived by others the way you intend.  A small simple gesture that is harmless to you, could easily be twisted in to some false reality by someone else.  It is a sad society that we live in when you try to express yourself in small, meaningful ways, yet others come up with their own “theories” or think there is always some sort of purpose behind the way you act (ie: what’s your hidden agenda).  I’ve often wanted to say “No, quite honestly, I am just by nature a caring person with a big heart and may be it would do some good to some people to also learn to accept people for face value!”

While you can, if you are in what is perceived to be a toxic friendship, get out!  Don’t be like me and get sucked in to that web and be left with deep battle scars.  Yes, I am single (for right now!) but if it is God’s will, I would love to find a nice guy and settle down and get married and have a family.  If that is not His will, then I am quite content with that. But just because I am single and have a lot of friends (both males and females), just because I believe in showing my care for others (ie: by giving small gifts, leaving notes or saying kind things), just because I try to make people laugh and enjoy having a good time, that is just ME!  I am not in any way some “other” person.  I am ME!  I am who I am because that is how God made me.  Keep your heart open, be true to yourself and do NOT let others change you.  Only let God change you for the better.  Stay true to Him.  But always be aware that others are out there seeking to destroy you.  Keep the faith and protect yourself!   We’ll always learn lessons, I just pray the rest of my lessons are a little bit “easier” than hard.  But don’t let those lessens discourage you.  Sure, it’ll set you back for a moment, but use the lessons as a stepping stone for you to build upon and grow from.  Let it make you stronger!  In the end, you are the better person!  Don’t lose hope!